I once was the type of parent that believed I had to take my daughters (ages 5 and 9) somewhere fun every weekend. I would look online for places I knew they would enjoy and spend lots of money to ensure their weekends were full of excitement and adventure. It all ended the day I took my daughters to Six Flags. They complained about the long lines, the heat, the walk from one ride to the next; their ungratefulness slapped me in the face and left me with a reality check. I had spent so much money over the years ensuring we were 'out and about' but in that moment I realized they lacked patience, consideration, appreciation, exercise and I had failed in connecting with them. They were so accustomed to going to different places it was no longer viewed as a privilege.
I began to think about all the places we've been and all the times they exhibited any form or ungratefulness and I realized I was creating spoiled little girls and I needed to find a way to have fun with them in a way that also taught them how to appreciate family time without all the gimmicks. When at these overpriced establishments the focus was on what I thought they wanted and not our need to unite and bond. We would arrive at the circus and although the tickets were prepaid they wanted toys that lit up, pony rides, glow in the dark necklaces. We would go to the carnival and all the ride tickets I purchased never distracted them from wanting to play game after game so they could leave with a humongous teddy bear. We'd go to Chuck E Cheese and Dave n Busters and despite the long hours inside the facility they never acquired enough tickets to get the prizes on the wall. No matter where we had went it never satisfied them, there was always something more they wanted or felt they didn't receive.
Currently we are on a break from all the lavish establishments that monetize on our children's need for fun with extravagant unattainable prizes. I started to realize quality time wasn't in the places we went but what we chose to do together. I didn't tell them I had decided we'd no longer frequent these "fun" places instead I created fun within our home. They began putting on talent shows, they learned how to sew and made clothes for their dolls, I invited them to cook meals with me, we'd watch movies, do yoga, and draw/paint together. Doing dishes and laundry together even excited them. We would also take cardboard boxes and random household items and create with them. We would take nature walks discussing certain things we saw, the plants we noticed and even had multiple random photo shoots. I noticed how I had more opportunities teaching them life skills while having fun within our home, which I rarely was able to accomplish while 'out and about'. I was able to learn more about my children by engaging in household activities. Something as simple as helping them with their homework and having spelling test fostered appreciation and joy.
As parents we define reality and how our children interpret experiences. Children don't require to be taken several places but they need to feel love, connection, understanding; all of which can be acquired with quality time. Have you ever asked your children what interest them? Have you spent time doing what they want to do instead of what you think they will enjoy? This past year I have received more "thank you's" than I have ever received in previous years and I didn't have to step foot out the door or pull out my wallet. I see now my children weren't spoiled, I spoiled their experiences choosing to not interact but let the places do the interacting for me. Family bonding can be done in the comfort of your home with minimal resources. I challenge everyone reading this to take the time to find creative ways to engage with your children. I assure you everyone will feel satisfied and your children will be grateful for the time spent.